M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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