Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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