Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize