So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
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I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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