loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
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The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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