Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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