I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
