Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
