oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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