BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
