Can i not drive my cunt home
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
