Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
So. Much. Porn.
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