Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Someone shattered a urinal.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
