normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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