This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
