I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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