hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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