if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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