need another drink. this is the easiest way
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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