Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
