he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
