Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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