what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
