We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
