i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
