ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
