Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Non-Jews are for practice
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
