She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
