I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
