so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize