btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This baby is an asshole
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
