its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
