I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
