it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
