i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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