she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
