smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
