so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
