dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Houston, we have a squirter
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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