how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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