I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
