they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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