And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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