shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
