he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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