it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize