I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
True strength comes from lack of pants
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
