You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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