this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize