Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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