You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
