I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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