I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
