so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We have so much sex to catch up on
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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