i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
