Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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