Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize