but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
