I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
40s are totally the cure
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
