If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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